My Immortal: A Commentary by Izzy and Lizzie
by Izzy and Lizzie
Summary: This is our commentary on the infamous fanfic My Immortal. Join us on this epic adventure through rape of the English language, Bad grammar, nonsense sentences, stupidity, canon rape, OOC characters and Mary Sue-ish OCs.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I'm Lizzie**_ and I'm Izzy. This is our commentary of the infamous fanfic My Immortal written by Tara Gilesbie_ **AKA XXXbloodywrists666XXX. **_We hope you guys don't lose too many brain cells reading this shit._ **We accept constructive criticism but please don't flame! **_English is not our first language and we don't have a Beta yet._ **Sorry in advance of our grammar sucks. **_We hope you enjoy our commentary because the story itself sucks**. **_**Good luck and may the force be with you.**

**Bold: Lizzie**

_Italics: Izzy_

_**Bolded Italics: Both**_

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) **No I don't get it. **2 my gf (ew not in that way)_ (Well what are we supposed to think? My great friend? Nobody says that)_ raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling **(if this is the result of when she helped you with the spelling, I'm scared to think what it looked like before)**. U rok! Justin **(I hope it's not the beaver)** ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! _(Poor Justin) _ MCR ROX! **(Noooooooo! How dare you like one of my favorite bands!)**

Hi _(Hullo! _**Hiya!)**my name is Ebony Dark'ness **(random apostrophe) **Dementia Raven Way (_I feel sorry for you) _and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) **(your parents where sooooooo original)** with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears _(what the hell are limpid tears? _**Beats me Izzy) **and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee _(You have GOT to be kidding me! _**Don't you dare compare yourself to Amy Lee**_! _**_SHE'S TOTALLY AWESOME!_)** (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) **(Can I?)**. I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie _**(INCEST ALERT!)**_. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white (_Wow. Even Edward Cullen is a better vampire _**and that's saying something**_)_. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England **(Hogwarts is not in England dumbass, It's in Scotland)** where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen)** (No shit)**. I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic _(you just ruined Hot Topic for me, I'm never going there again)_ and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. _**(SLUT!) **_I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them **(Well she's just a ray of sunshine)**.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy! _(What are you going to do with my imaginary husband!)_

"What's up Draco?" I asked. _(THE SKY DUMBASS!)_

"Nothing." he said shyly.** (Draco, **_shy?__**...HAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **Well that conversation was completely useless)**

AN: IS it good? _**(let us think….NO!)**_ PLZ tell me fangz!

_**PLEASE REVIEW! **Whoever finds the two AVPM references_ **will get virtual cookies and a shout out on the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh** ****_my **God! 3 reviews! That was a lot m****ore than we expected!**_ **Congratulations to **UR TOTALLY AWESOME **for guessing one of the references.** _One was_ Totally Awesome _and the other was_ find. **Yeah, the last one was pretty lame but whatever.**_ Here is the second chapter,_ **we hope you guys enj****oy! **_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!**_

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><p><strong>BOLD: Lizzie<strong>

_Italics: Izzy_

_**Bolded Italics: Both**_

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><p>AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! <em><strong>(Make us!)<strong>_

The next day I woke up in my bedroom _(_**Thank god,****It's a right pain in the ass when you wake up in a floating, pink with green polka dots bathtub**). It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin _(Coffin? Since when does Hogwarts have coffins?)_ and drank some blood from a bottle I had **(Because everybody does that first thing in the morning)**. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends _(Keep this in mind guys, her coffin has PINK lace. That's very important)_. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas **(…I am speechless. That is MY PJs! How dare that bitch wear the same PJs I do! I'M the only one allowed to wear band shirts for PJs!)**. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun _(How can you put your hair in a "kind of" messy bun? It's either messy or it's not)_.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)** (Poor, poor Raven) ** woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes _(I would be freaked out if someone flipped their hair, grinned at me and THEN opened her eyes)_. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots **Oh Izzy; we forgot to say this to Ebony! On the count of three, **_one, _**two, **_**three…SLUT!)**_. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) _(But aren't you pale already?)_

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **(Did she actually say oh-em-ef-gee?)**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. _(Vampires can't blush! They don't have blood)_

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted._ (No need to be so rude, geez)_

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **(Didn't you just say you didn't like him? Make up your mind!)**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. _**(STOP USING OUR FAVORITE BANDS!)**_

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked. _(NO, HE'S MY FUTURE HUSBAND! NOT YOURS, MINE!)_

I gasped. **(Worst. **_Ending.__**Ever!)**_

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><p><span>peace-love-and-writing:<span> _Glad you think this was funny._ **We honestly think we have a crappy sense of humor.** _I agree, My Immortal was really bad. **We're happy you liked it**_

UR TOTALLY AWESOME: **Congratulations for guessing one of the references!** _Here's your cookie (:)_

Anonimous: _Glad you liked it._ **We'll try to update regularly**

_**Please Review!  
><strong>_


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